I called him this morning…I know I shouldn’t have. Because this time of year is really hard for me. But being the smart ass that I usually am – I called.
I was compelled to do so because Steve Harvey was doing a segment on “what a good father is…” and I figured I’d call him and suggest that he tune in so he could get some tips…and maybe he could learn something…
So I called him, told him to tune in and he said ok. I immediately hang up and turn up the volume.
My phone rings. Its him:
Me: “yes”
Him: “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I’m not going to be able to make it to her “thing” on Saturday. But my mother and nem will be there.”
My eyes begin to sting.
All the while, I’m driving and thinking: How in the hell am I going to tell her he’s not coming? I don’t want to disappoint her…maybe if I don’t say anything, she’ll forget about him not coming due to all the excitement and hustle and bustle of the recital…
But knowing little mama’ she’s not going to forget. She never forgets anything.
I remember when we sat down at the table last month, addressed an envelop with his name on it and put the invitation to the ballet recital inside and left it on the table for Nana to mail…
SHE is going to remember when she doesn’t see him at the curtain call.
Him: “Hello?”
Me: “I heard you. I’m not surprised. Not one bit."
I'm thinking: And it doesn’t surprise me that you’d call the day before the recital to tell me
Him: “Oh, you not surprised?”
Me: “No, I’m not – I’m not surprised. I knew you weren’t coming. You never come through. I’m not surprised.”
Him: complete silence then - “Oh, Ok”- complete silence
Me: “I’m hanging up now”
As I wiped the wetness from my face…I was relieved when I turned the volume back up and Steve Harvey had moved from the “father’s day segment” onto the strawberry letter…
Who Am I?
- It is What It Is...
- Annapolis, Maryland, United States
- 20 something and grown up (I'm sure that went right over your head) :-) OMG - I'm almost 30...geeze! BAPS 4LIFE!!!
My New Obsession
My Princess...My SelahThis is why I can't blog - work, meetings, recitals, practices, etc. (I'm in Soccer Mom Mode...Ballet, Jazz, Tap and Piano have begun. I'm also on the PTA and I'm a room mom for Ballet. So my schedule is fully booked...and I love it!
Heavy Rotation...
Keshia Cole - I love this CD...its so real, so hood. So you know I'm feeling it...I'm also rocking the new Jilly from Philly joint...but she's a year to late for me...Hell, I needed that CD a year ago around this time...LOL
16 comments:
now i understand what you meant in the email the other day...man...i have no words...i really don't i have absolutely no words...i wish i did...oh how i wish i did
Yes. It really tough. Its even harder because i don't want to ever see her hurt.
And she's doesn't have to hurt because of this. He's not dead, sick or paralyzed.
He's in good health. Its not reason for him not to be a constant figure in her life. No excuse at all.
and that's the thing, she is so smart, and she is smart enough to know that he could be there if he wanted to...she knows that!!! she sees you struggle and all that you do...and she definitely knows that he could be there if he wanted to because he is there when he wants to...ever so often when he wants to...
man...
and out of all of them, she is the one that looks like he coughed her up...
i don't understand how you can have somone walking around that is an extension of you, is a part of you, and you aren't there...i don't understand it...
i'll be praying for her
and to you I say Happy Father's Day! you truly deserve it!
Yes this is a hard situation, you see what I'm going through. My ex is no where to be found he calls hisself being mad because I left L.A and told him he could come. But if you were doing what you were suppose to I wouldn't have never left. It got to a point where I stop trying. If there was something going on he need to know about I left word and moved on never expecting him to come through.
I totally understand and I am sorry you have to go through that. Lil mamma is going to be okay, she has a great mom. Stay strong!
I know what you go through with "him" so I know how hard this is for you. I really don't have much to say becauase I don't know what to say. "He" has and probably will always be a never ending cycle of disappointments but Se will be fine. Trust me, she will be.
@ T.C. - she made out ok. She did ask where he was after the show...just like I thought she would.
@ Mommy w/ a purpose- thanks for your encouraging words...you stay strong too! :-)
@ R.M. - yes, she's gonna be fine...
as a father that is able to be totally engrossed in the daily goings on of my soon to be 15 yr old...I can truly relate. I have had custody of him since he was 7 mos old and there were times that I thought I could kill his mom for saying she would come to something and not show up. It definitely pains me that my younger son's(4yrs old) mom moved back to her native state of GA while I still live in Ohio less than a year after finding out he was my son
Kids will remember who was there for them when they get older...sometimes she may lash out at you for being there when she is really angry at ol' boy. please be mindful that misplaced anger may rear it's ugly head and try not to take it personal.
I'm glad that you have a support group in family and friends and an online family to wrap their arms around you. IF you don't mind, I shall number you amongst my growning number of cyber sisters..
Peace, my lil sister. (hug)
Wow, girl. I'm so sorry you're going through this. As the auntie to a little boy with a dead beat son of a bytch father...I totally understand.
Sad but he's gonna regret that he's not there for her...All I can say is Steve is a nut..hopefully he made you laugh after that.
@ Monie - thanks for being there...ya' gotta love the blogger community girl... :-)
@ Honey - He's gonna regret it...and Yes, your boy steve made me laugh eventually. lmao
Girl... I TOTALLY feel you on this. These sperm donors make me sick.
I listened to that same segment on Steve Harvey's show and thought I should call my lil mama's sperm donor but he wouldn't listen anyway...
It really is painful to see them disapointed like that. But karma is real and God is good.
I know there is npthing like Daddy but I have surrounded my Lil Ma with positive male role models and I pray on a daily for her sperm donor to become a real man and live up to her expectations...
My heart is breaking for you j. I really want to run up on that dude and knock the mess out of him. As non-violent as I am, I want to hurt him. AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM!
That's probably not what you needed to hear, but I'm mad right now.
Okay... I'm calm. You are such an inspiration to me. You are among the wonderful list of strong, beautiful mothers in the world. I've said this before but Selah is soooo blessed to have you.
Breaks my heart as a new Dad and the Son of a absent biological I feel for you.
I hate missing bath-time with my twins let alone events that are important to them.
Like others have said it is his lose and not yours.
Bless you heart.
I hate to read things like this. I will most def pray for you. God will see you through. Just do you.
wow. i don't even have words.
sorry you had to experience that - even more sorry for your baby girl. She's going to be great though with a mom like u
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