Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Incredible…

I just don’t get people some times…I really don’t.

I have a friend well let’s just say that it’s a guy I used to date. I really liked him. He’s a business owner. And as an up and coming entrepreneur myself, I felt we had a lot in common…I figured we could bounce ideas off one another for our businesses.

The more we got to know each other he realized that I had some (basic) expertise in writing, editing, public relations and marketing. So of course – I did what any friend would do. I helped. No problem, no question and free of charge.

So whenever he needed help with drafting, editing and formatting proposals – I’d make myself available. Sometimes, I’d stay late at work to edit, print and copy projects for him. No questions asked…

I received no compensation or anything for the expenses incurred while helping him…and that was ok. I figured hey, we’re dating and he’s my friend so I genuinely wanted to help him.

Well – things didn’t work out between us. (And I’m not EVEN going to put DUDE on blast on the internet)

But we still keep in touch via email, texting, etc. – So today, he emails me and asks if I could help him out with some media outreach for a huge organization that he’s affiliated with that has a huge budget. I immediately jump at the opportunity because C&C could use the business.

I responded by saying: “Sure sweetie, I’d love to help. No problem…just send me a contract, etc. and address it to Croft & Clarke Consulting.”

And what do I get from him: NO response. None. Like I was supposed to email him my coveted media contact list and press connects for free?? HELL to the NO!

I just figured that since we’re not dating anymore, and what he asked me to do is going to take up huge amounts of my time – I’d figured I’d keep it strictly bizzy (business) and handle it as such.

This just goes to show that if they can - people will use you for any and everything. People don’t care that you have a 9 to 5 or that you have your own business and you’re trying to make a name for yourself or build a client base.

I cannot continue to do things for my family and friends for free anymore. I just can’t.

For example, I do some graphic designing and I’ve created things (flyers, invites, biz cards, etc.) for my family and friends and some of them don’t even have the heart to say things like: “Oh let me slide you $20 or $30 dollars for doing this...” They just expect it for free…

Its trifiling. Yeah, I said it. Its trashy and trifling.

But hell, it is what it is…

I just needed to get this off my chest…

9 comments:

Trapped-n-my-Thoughts said...

I thoroughly understand how u feel. I'm always doing something for someone and I don't really mind doing at no charge, but sometimes a sista needs a couple of dollars. I hate charging my friends & family but in some instances, my services do cost(hair products, water, electric & just my time). I would never charge my family or close friends what I would charge a regular person I don't know so...I'm feeling u.

eclectik said...

Damn.

People always want the hook up

Trife indeed

Heart u

e.

eclectik-relaxation.com

The Message board (Grown folk talk)

Anonymous said...

It takes a little while to figure it out.But bisness is bisness."Freinds"are the most difficult to do bisness with because you have to keep your overhead as low as possible.And what better to get things done than to get them done for FREE.It's a natural act for some folks to take advantage of people.I've learnded that looking out for folks won't get you too far.Starting a biz and networking is one thing but being taken advantage of is another.NEVER offer your services to anyone without writing up a contract to say how you will be compensated.(If I'm helping you make moneys,I'm making myself make some in the process)that's it that's all.That's life.There is no need to be upset about anything.It's a part of busness.I really hope that more than anything you learned a lesson.Dealing with folks(especially "friends"and family is just time to give and nothing is to be expected in return.Because if you do 9 times out of 10 you will be disapointed.PUT IT ON PAPER."THAT JUDICIAL SYSTEM IS A BITCH.

A. B. said...

People always want something for nothing I am finding the same true in some of my family business venture.

So you do graphic designing? I need some B-cards, post cards, and flyers.

We should talk. I will pay. :-)

T.a.c.D said...

HELLO! we can't keep doing what we do for free, you did it right...so tell homie holla back youngin....

Jazzy said...

I would send him another note to ask what's up, instead of getting mad. It's business...you would follow-up with a client...why not this dude??? Particularly when as he said, there is a big budget involved.

jendayi said...

i think you did the right thing. (not that you were asking us if you did or not.) but it's time to turn over a new leaf when relationships change. if you don't, they continue to take advantage. and that is NOT the bizness. =)

Chari said...

Lol, congrats on making that change!

Nikita T. Mitchell said...

I can't really speak to your friend but I can definitely understand a bit of your frustration at family. They, of all people, can see what you are trying to build for yourself. The least they could do is provide support- especially when you aren't demanding it from them.

Don't worry, a big heart goes a long way. Karma is a beautiful thing.