PMDD and John Legend's Jacked up Teeth

I brought my digital camera to the show, but the battery died...so I don't have any pictures for you. SORRY. So I stole this one...lol

I went to see John Legend this past weekend. We bought our tickets back in March as a gift to Annissa for her birthday. Who is the number one stunner! I still can't believe she came -

I wasn't too excited about seeing Corinne. I mean don't get me wrong...she's cool and all. But I really wanted to see your boy...John Legend.

Everybody's schedules were off that day… so the others drove separate cars and decided to meet up with us at 7:00 p.m. Which meant - I had to ride with Mrs. BoBo a.k.a Tig ole' Biddies - We were supposed to meet up at 3:30 - but I didn't get to Bea-ti-more County until about 4:45 - and of course - THE DIVA wasn't READY (Mrs. BoBo).

In the meantime, it’s drizzling and cold outside. Which means the weather for the Lawn people was a complete hott azz mess. Mrs. BoBo decides that she's hungry and wants to eat at the Cheese Cake Factory a.k.a THE "70-minute wait for a table for 2" FACTORY! - I HATE it!

So we of course don't get to eat there...so we opt for her favorite restaurant: "Copeland's" - which in my opinion is an upscale Popeyes Chicken.... (Sorry Brandi - lol)

Of course - There are no tables available...because everybody that's on their way to the show had the same bright idea that Mrs. Bobo had: going out to eat at a restaurant near the CONCERT VENUE...

We end up getting seated at the BAR (unfortunately because I HATE ciggarette smoke!) and I'm of course suffering from a SEVERE case of PMDD which stands for:

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (click here to educate yourself of the disease)
So I was a B*tch on wheels. If you know me...you will also know that when my friend comes...

I become psychotic…

SO the entire time, I'm like being so extra and mean and snappy to Mrs. Bobo, the waiter, bartenders - I mean everybody. So after one Strawtini w/Grey Goose, Mrs. Bobo puts on her social worker/therapist hat and proceeds to tell me that "I’m not going continue to verbally abuse her or our waiter and that I needed anger management"…and within 10 minutes - I'm like sitting at the table crying and people are staring...it was so ridiculous. Truly. lol

The show started at 7:30 p.m. and we look up and its 7:15 p.m. My friends who were on their way are ringing our cells like crazy because they think we've already gotten good lawn seats and are sitting down waiting for them to arrive...but we were actually just leaving Copeland’s.

So we get there and when we pull up - I hear the beautiful, clear and crisp voice of Corinne...I mean she was just awesome. Truly. Her band was vicious. She gave a great show.

HOWEVER, I didn't realize how incredibly THIN she was. I mean she was really skinny. I thought I was a bag of bones...but your girl Corinne is real tiny. Geeze! I was scurred.

John Legend put on an excellent show. Of course you know your boy comes out in a pair of TIGHT as hell Armani black pants with classic pleats...a tight/metro sexual tailored leather blazer with a zipper and a black and gold lined Hermes' scarf and tops it off with a pair of chucks....and Of course you know his shape-up was ridiculous. He was so sexy...oomph...
Anywho, he opened with "Maxine" and led us straight into "Stereo" - that joint was HOTT! We created our own little party right on the lawn. He gave a great show! The remix to "Used to Love U" got the crowd up on there feet it was like a night club on the lawn…hahahah

He and Corinne blessed us with a duet: "Where is the Love" which was flawless....
After he and his entire band left the stage. He got a standing ovation and the crowd was screaming his name. He ended up coming back out and doing 2 extra songs! It was worth it

I will also never forget Annissa's tight hoodie - that looked like it was choking her face and neck...hahahaha!!!

First things first - I just want to know WHY nobody TOLD me that John Legend’s teeth were Jacked???? His teeth are a hott azz mess! OMG! I had no idea that his teeth were horrible like that. I'm real mad at that...and my friends were like: "What, you didn’t know?"

To find out whether or not you or someone you know is suffering from PMDD - please visit:

http://pmdd.factsforhealth.org/have/takescreener.asp

Take the first step and get the help you need...lol

Its So Much Bigger Than "Nappy Headed Hoes"

I was asked a few weeks ago by a good friend why I didn't blog or comment via the internet on the Imus controversy...and I didn't really know why. I couldn’t give him an answer…

My friend is originally from Africa, so his view on the plight of African Americans in THIS COUNTRY is slightly different than mines (and understandably so)...

Although he and I are connected as people of African descent and we share some of the same struggles as African people throughout the African diaspora...his views on the subject are different because we come from 2 different worlds & cultures...(I'll explain that in another post...)

Anyway, he said to me - "what's the big deal J? - Black people refer to themselves and their women as hoes, etc. on a regular. Just turn on the radio or listen to BET RAPS." What he said reminded me that some blacks, SOME rappers and those in the "hip-hop" culture use the words and terms regularly.
And HE was right - I couldn’t argue with him on that. But the RAP thing isn't the issue...I dug a little deeper....

I had to admit to him that night that I had people in my OWN extended family that referred to their children (yes - their children), family, friends and themselves on a Regular basis as:

B*tches
Mother F*ckers
Hoes
N*ggas/N*ggers
Whores

And sometimes the above names are used as a term of endearment by some of them…
Now - I have to let you know before I move forward, that the family members I'm referring to live in what we call the "hood." (I'm going somewhere with this...)

When I told my friend about them - I then realized that these family members all had a few characteristics or similarities in common:
Some if not all were:

Uneducated - high school dropouts
Convicted Felons
Unemployed
Dead beat fathers
Drug dealers
Living in poverty
Single parents with multiple children (3,4 and 5 kids)
On welfare and recieving public assistance
Drug & alcohol abusers
Had been formerly incarcerated
Living in public housing

Are we on to something here?? Hmmm...sounds like a nice research project.
Moving on...I believe that there is a bigger issue here than the phrase "Nappy-Headed Hoes" - and I’m getting to it…

Anyway, I had asked a friend/blogger to do a post about...but I didn't even entertain doing it myself...maybe, because I just couldn't get into it you know? I knew what IMUS said was wrong and it bothered me some...but for some reason - I just couldn't speak on it - like I normally do with other issues, etc.

But one morning on the way to work, I was flicking through the dial and on every "URBAN" radio station, 93.9, 92.3, etc. they were discussing the incident. I mean, it’s all over the news. People were calling and expressing their satisfaction on the firing of the host, etc. I mean Russ Parr was going crazy ya'll...

And on the radio, you could here clips of Al Sharpton with Jesse Jackson saying to the media in a press conference:

"It's not about taking Imus down," Sharpton said. "It's about lifting decency up."

I read in an article that Sheila Johnson, owner of the WNBA's Washington Mystics and, with her ex-husband Robert, co-founder of BET, said "Imus' comments were reprehensible in an interview with The Associated Press...and was worried that what he said could hurt women's sports."

Yes - an intelligent black woman, strong, politically connected...a millionaire and powerful business woman was worried how his comments would hurt 'women's sports.'

When I read Al Sharpton's and Sheila Johnson’s comment - I got angry. I MEAN seething mad.

I got heated because I thought of all the NEGATIVE charecteristics that the members within my extended family from the "hood" and many other blacks had in common and a comment from an old white man named 'IMUS' is what gets AL Sharpton, Russ Parr, Sheila & Bob Johnson and Jesse Jackson in an uproar??

And Sheila Johnson had the audacity to say that she was worried that his comments will hurt woman's SPORTS???? Oh MY GOD! What a tragedy!!

Every characteristic listed above (poverty, drug abuse, lack of education, etc.) is more than enough reason for Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and every other black leader with any sense, integrity and conviction to get ENRAGED and DEMAND that we (our community) do something to change this horrible reality.

Let's hold a press conference on what JESSE Jackson and AL Sharpton propose we as a community do to eradicate the above list. PERIOD.

As a BLACK WOMAN - Sheila Johnson should hold a press conference and tell the WORLD that she plans to FUND and sponsor a program or research project on HOW and WHY BLACK WOMEN ages 18 to 34 are getting infected with HIV like CRAZY! and dying from Full Blown AIDS at a faster rate than anyother ethnic group in the United States...
Why isn’t she "WORRIED" about this??? WHY???

Studies show that "Black communities, are more likely to be plagued by joblessness, poverty and drug use."

And we know because of the high ratio of women to men, a significant portion of whom (men) go in and out of the prison system where the rate of HIV infection is 10 times higher than in the general population contributes to the high number of infections among black women...

I mean the list goes on an on….

Let's have a press conference on these issues that are plaguing the black community:
Lack of self knowledge and education
Lack of job/trade skills among adults
Lack of effective parenting
Teen Pregnancy
Criminal Activity & black on black HOMICIDE
Brothers on the Down Low
Drug & Alcohol Abuse
Mental Illness
Disease (Diabetes, HIV, Cancer, Heart Disease)

These are the things that the GOOD and RIGHT Rev. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson should be fighting against and "taking" down in our community instead of the old dinosaur IMUS!

IF they want to speak for the black community and be known as a leaders - they should be working around the damn clock to come up with solutions and recommendations to combat the above issues.

These leaders NO longer speak for me.

We need real people, real leaders, and clergy who will speak truth to power and look the deathly issues that are plaguing our men, women and children in the face and say NO MORE! No longer will we accept them and lay down and die quietly.

As a black woman - I will continue to work within my community and FAMILY to help combat these issues. I know I'm one person and I can only do so much within my own family. But I try - we all should try...I salute my fellow friends/bloggers (T.C. and Zuri) and others in the community who know its important to give back - in whatever way you can...

I know that I (we) cannot save the world...but I can help save those close to me. I believe that if we all take the time to look at what we (YOU) can do to help combat these issues...ONLY then - will change come.

We don't have black leaders like Ida B. Wells, Marcus Garvey, King, X, John Herik Clarke or Stokely at the forefront of our movement anymore to speak for us....the real soldiers of today can't even get 20 seconds of air time on local TV these days....

Jesse, Al and the likes of Cornell West get all the press...
But, if we wait on Jesse, Al, Sheila, and Obama to take up our cause...we'll be waiting a lifetime people...

It starts with YOU!
Straight from the heart,
J

The Praying Hands/What is the World Coming To?

Well - I'm on my way to work this morning and I'm driving along...minding my business. Listening to Democracy Now...

I'm in the far right lane...attempting to merge into traffic before that far right lane ends...

I signal and move on in...however, MY mother's VAN a.k.a. THE GAS GUZZLER - has a serious blind spot...so I didn't see the small compact car speed up and merge behind me as well...
So I almost - well we almost ran into eachother...well - let me keep it real...
I (JCROFT) almost had another accident. LOL

The driver, who had to be a middle-aged (50-year) old white woman slammed down on her horn pointed her finger at me and mouthed/yelled:

"Watch it! You Stupid F*cking Idiot" and then gave me the middle finger.

Now - my daughter is watching the entire scene in the back seat and says to me:

"Mommy, that lady said a bad word to you Mommy! and her daughter is in the back seat! She better hurry up and ask the Lord for forgiveness"

Incredible right? - well that's my little mama for you...lol

Anyway, I decided that I would engage in a little road rage this morning myself -

I sped up, changed lanes to get on the side of her, slammed my horn to get her attention...and I did something I've never done before...

I gave her the Praying Hands....

Yes - the praying hands ya'll. LOL

She responded by giving me the Looney Tune gesture (like I was crazy because I didn't give her the finger back or curse - but because I responded to her with a spiritual/or religious hand gesture)...

God knows - I wanted to curse that Lady out so badd this morning...LOL - It really took alot to not go off...mainly because my little mama' was in the car....lol

But I felt sorry for the lady and her daughter...

I really did. I looked at the expression of the 7 or 8 year-old girl sitting in the back seat and she had this blank look on her face...but her eyes, her eyes looked so sad...they really did.

I mean, who would want to grow up with a parent that behaved that way? A parent that used bad words and said bad things? what message was she sending to her child?

But the little girls eyes and facial expression were familiar to me...because I saw myself sitting there, in the back seat - that was me 20 years ago...just a different time and a different place (that's a whole other journal entry...but anyway...)

I was so glad my response was the praying hands instead of the middle finger...and apparently, my daughter was as well...

She later told me: "Mommy, I'm going to pray for that Lady, because its not right that she uses those bad words..."
And at that moment...it was all worth it...Everything

CLOSER...

For the past 2 weeks or so...I've been going through a lot.

And as a result, I've been just staying to myself. I just don't want to be bothered.

And to think - last week, I was just singing: Sisterhood, sisterhood, sisterhood...LOL (see the post below for reference - LOL)

Anyway,

I'm dealing with so much. I'm at transitional point in my life.
It seems like in life – you get over one hill and then comes the MOUTAIN…

Although I know that this won't last forever...
I know that it will pass…but its just really hard for me right now...

I've always been the type of person that's always there for everyone else.
And I guess its just second nature you know?

I'm a very compassionate person and I've always been able to give sound advice, and support to my friends and family members whenever they need me. NO MATTER what.

I've been and have always been the friend that takes the calls from the broken hearted at 2:00 a.m. in the morning.

I've gotten up out of my bed to go help someone on a work night.

I've stayed on the phone until the wee hours of the night - just listening to dead silence. Because there might not be anything else to say. But that person may just need to know that there is someone on the other end of the phone...

I've been the friend that does this or that to make sure everyone else is ok and comfortable. I've done the encouraging; the praying and crying, the hugging, sending the get well or thinking of you cards...

And don't get me wrong. - I know that I'm called to be a person that pours into others and gives back. And its a burden to carry at times - when you have to take on other peoples stuff...

But I believe and KNOW that at the end of the day -
I enjoy being a strong friend and confidant to my friends and family.

I'll keep it real and be the first to admit that it gives me great joy and pleasure to be a help and resource to people who are in need. I actually love helping others. Its just me.

However - When I'm going through and experiencing those rough times…You know - the ones where you don't know which way to turn and everything seems like it all over the place and crazy…

Or the times when its late at night and the tears…oh tears…they just won’t stop flowing...

Or the times when you have people around you but you just feel so lonely inside...

Who will pour into me?

Who will speak positive words of encouragement into my life?

Who will listen?

Who will think of me or say my name and just call to be calling? Who?
Where are they? Where are they now? Who will listen to me?

Who will cry with me at 2:00 in the morning on the phone?

Who will sit up with me in the wee hours of the night while I breathe into the receiver because I just don't know what else to say?

I know my friends and family love me...
but sometimes it just feels like you're all alone...

But when I realized that I had to ask myself these questions...I ALSO realized that I was asking the wrong questions. And I checked them at the door…

Once I did that – the word Relationship kept coming to mind…relationship, relationship, relationship...

I realized that I had grown apart and neglected the most important friendship in my life...

And at that exact moment, I knew.

I knew it was time for me to get closer...

Straight from the heart,
J

###

This post is dedicated to my cousin Wynter - Thank you.

Ps. Initially when I started this blog - I thought that I wouldn't reveal what's written in the pages of my journal or uttered to close friends to the world. But - all I had was my blog and God today...so I had to post it and get it out...what a sigh of relief...

Who knew that a blog could be Therapy...

Girlfriends, Digiorno Pizza, Music, TABOO and Stillettos...

Look closely...and Check out the wine glass and Digiorno Pizza...hahaha

This past Saturday night, I got together with my girlfriends for what we call a:

"GIRL's NIGHT IN"

Everyone brings a dish and alcoholic bevarage and we get together to talk, laugh, cry, vent and play games. I love getting together at A's house...the decor makes me think I'm in a Brownstone in Manhattan girl! Love it!

Just to let you know - I brought my favorite: Sutter Home White Zinfandel...and I made Sweet-n-Sour Meatballs (which were a favorite of the night - I think)...

We played taboo and anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm very competitive. Its an ALL out war when I'm playing to win at anything.

Anyway, this particular night, we had 2 new sisters join us for the fun. AND the 2 new sisters just happened to be on my team. And boy was I hard on them...but we ended up making out ok.

If R.M. and Mrs. Tig ole' Biddies (picture of her will post soon - lol) team didn't cheat we would've won. Yes - Ya'll cheated. My team should've WON. PERIOD.

But when your dealing with people from Bea-ti-more (specifically PARK HEIGHTS), anything is possible...LMAO (yeah - I said it, and what?)!!!

But most importantly, we had a great time together. As we always do. I love my friends so much...I really do...These ladies have truly shown me the REAL meaning of friendship and sisterhood. They are the ones who taught me what the true meaning and measure of friendship is.

I SOOOO Love the sisterhood! Its what keeps me going.

More pic's to come...

Special shot out to my girl D for taking the pic's of the nights festivities with her thousand dollar Japanese made camera...get em' girl. LOL

My IPOD - Most Played...Bruce Hornsby and Friends (Bonnie Raitt "I Can't Make You Love Me...")

I love this song live...she sings it like it happened to her. The words and melody flow from her like she's lived it.

You can actually hear the pain in her voice when she sings this live...Bruce really compliments her on this track...Anyway, I love the entire album...its an oldie but goodie...but strictly for REAL music lovers...

My New White Dress...

I need to stay out of the stores...PERIOD. I will admit on the internet that I am an emotional shopper. I have an addiction... I shop when I'm happy, sad, melancholy, horny, moody, tired. I need addiction counseling for shopping. Yesterday, when I got of off work. BTW - I was so happy to have gotten off of work at a reasonable hour...I got to meet my Mom and daughter for dinner and shopping! It was fabulous. Its been ages since I've been able to go to the mall and not feel rushed...I picked up the cutest dress by Michael Kors - it looks so hott on me...and it fits the waist just right...IT's GORGEOUS!! The white on my brown skin looks incredible....ummph!! I'm getting goose bumps just thinking about it...The picture doesn't do the dress justice...but as soon as I get it on...I'll post it... Where will I wear it ??? hmmm.... I also picked up some clearance items from the limited...their early spring blouses...but I'll be able to carry them over into the summer...I know you're all thinking: "Who in the hell cares?" Right?? Smooches!!!